JOKES JOKES N MORE JOKES! :D (sorry jokez, not calling u lol :X)

Joke 1:

A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.

As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's feet.

"What's this, "she asked.

"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"

Joke 2:

A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"

"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand."

Joke 3:

Three ladies, with boyfriends all named "Leroy" were at a bar when one of the ladies said, "I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy. Why don't we all name our Leroys after a soda pop? The other two ladies agree, and the first lady jumps in and says, "OK, then, let me go first.....I name my Leroy '7-UP' !" The other two ladies jump in and ask her, "Why 7-UP?" "Because my Leroy has 7 inches and it's always UP!" All three ladies holler and hoot and slap each other on the back, when the second lady says, "OK, I'm next....and I name my Leroy 'Mountain Dew' !" The other two ladies ask, "Why Mountain Dew?" "Because my Leroy can Mount and Dew me anytime!" All three ladies proceed to holler and hoot and slap each other each other on the back. The third lady then stands back and starts thinking and says, "You know, those two Leroys were good....but I'm gonna name mine Jack Daniels." The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? that's not a soda pop....that's a hard liquor!" The third lady shouts, "THAT'S MY LEROY!"

lol o man the 3rd joke rox once again :X u will nv look at 7 up or mountain dew or any hard liquor the same anymore LOLOLOL.

alright i recalled a joke that i tot was pretty funny but couldnt find it anymore, so ill be sharing it another time :D~ keep u guys in suspense whaahahahahah~!!!

- lalala~ Rappy :D~